January 31, 2021
Today I wanted to share a well written description about our rescue dog we have been taking care of for the past 6 weeks. I once blogged about a dog we had found in our neighborhood and eventually found its owners. This is not that dog! Please enjoy this guest blog from my wife.
Update on Little Trixie~
by Dena Massaro-Williams
We really did try our absolute best. I guess I can only say we didn’t try our absolute “longest.” But in a sense, we did that also. If having more patience and making more of an effort for her means continued feelings of anxiety and discord between us much of the time, then I’ve run out of patience.
Yes, we’ve tried all the things. Tyler sitting, even lying on the floor and slowly scooting over to her, speaking softly with a raised pitch, treats, treats, more treats. Buying a couple extra beds for her, switching and moving crates, singing to her, ignoring her, looking at her, not looking at her, not wearing hats, Tyler even taking off his watch before moving his hand toward her, attempting to hand-feed her, sitting on the living room floor (while watching rescue dog documentaries), bringing our neighbor’s dog over, reading countless articles and watching videos, consulting with all of our dog-owner friends, reaching out to my vet, etc.,.
I think that because Trixie is barely starting to grow a tiny bit more comfortable with me (meaning she’ll come up to me to sniff but I can’t move or she’ll jump away) she is actually becoming MUCH worse with Tyler. Even if he goes near her to give her a high-value treat, like turkey or cheese, she squeezes herself into the corner. She has also started growling at him the past few weeks. She was so desperate to get away from him two nights ago that she rammed herself BEHIND the beer fridge. We had to unplug it and pull it away to get her out. We’ve moved the crate so we are able to let her run out the back sliding door when she needs to potty. Most of the time when Tyler goes to let her out, she bolts out so fast she hurts herself and sometimes poops on the way out. And she’s so afraid to run through the door threshold (in OR out) with both of us, she often runs headfirst into the door if we don’t open it fast enough. This is all in her desperate attempt to get as far away from us as fast as she can. It’s heartbreaking to see her hurting herself this way. And frustrating and discouraging beyond belief. When Tyler does have to pick her up in the corner by the beer fridge to bring her outside, she growls and then defecates on him. I’ve lost count how many times that’s happened now.
I had a trainer come to the house last week. She was so nice and helpful in a validating kind of way, but she didn’t even charge us because she said she “didn’t do anything.” We’re not looking to train Trixie to perform anything on command, we just want her to trust us a tiny bit. It was 6 weeks yesterday since we got her and I still can’t even get close to petting her unless she’s cornered. Finally yesterday I called the rescue organization we adopted her from. The woman put me in touch with *Bob (not actual name), the dog behaviorist they work with, and I spoke pretty extensively with him last night. He was very supportive and definitely agrees she needs help. He said he never would have placed a dog like her in a home with two people who have basically no experience (other than Tyler’s childhood dogs). He also told me hoarder dogs have entirely unique problems and can be extremely difficult to rehabilitate. I don’t think she’s comfortable with ANY humans, although when our neighbor brought her little dog over, they did fine together. Tyler even considered trying to get another dog to help her, but we also realize what a huge gamble that may be.
Bob wants us to bring her to him this afternoon. I asked if I should just plan on leaving her with him indefinitely and he said yes. He said it’ll take at least a couple weeks to assess where she’s really at. He’s confident he can help her, but doesn’t think she’s a good fit for us. He did encourage us to try again if & when we’re ready, but with a different dog. He can recommend dogs who would love to hike and camp with us, and we could actually take overnight trips to dog-friendly places. Early on, I felt selfish for worrying that all of these things may never be possible with a dog like Trixie, but Bob assured me it’s not selfish and this situation isn’t good for ANY of us. This has been a HUGE learning experience, and now I know I will do MUCH more research about any animal we would adopt in the future.
My heart is broken, but I’m also feeling a huge sense of relief. It’s gotten really tense around here with Tyler trying to tiptoe around and do all the things I’m reading about and telling him to try. I hate how consuming it’s become, especially because she’s not getting better with us. No bond has been formed on any end. In our quieter moments when it’s just me at home, she’ll come out of the crate and walk all around the house, sniffing things and looking curious. It’s adorable, even though I can’t touch her. So I DO think she could work out in maybe a single-owner household, perhaps a female with other dogs to bring her out of her shell. I’m so appreciative for all the support we’ve gotten from our friends and family who know about our journey. I’ve felt wracked with guilt and wondered why I can’t seem to make it work or just drum up more patience and assume this could go on for a very long time. We’re both exhausted from trying though, and I guess I can look at it like we’ve provided a place for her to stay for 6 weeks. We’ve basically been her foster home for now. I’m really glad I told the woman from the organization about all of the problems we’ve had. I kind of just barfed it all out because I was at my wit’s end after the beer fridge incident. I’m afraid if I didn’t go into all the details, she would’ve just said to bring Trixie back and then they’d try to foster and adopt her out again without seeing Bob. Now at least they’ll have a much better sense of what she needs to be successful and will hopefully avoid more returns in the future. I know for a fact she will not end up in a kill shelter or just be euthanized, so that also helped us make this very difficult decision.
Anyway, congratulations and THANK YOU if you’ve made it to this point!!! Sorry this is so long. I suppose it doubles as a journal entry & part of my own therapy 🤪. We will bring her to Bob at 1pm today, and I’m sure I will cry about it again. But I’m glad to know she’s on the right path now.
❤️